some funny statements ....

“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”

Exercise extends your life 10 years, but you spend 15 of them doing it.

He was so narrow minded that he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target.

How long is a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on.

I can’t understand why a person will take a year or two to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.

Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn’t expect to be paid back.

Toe: A part of the foot used to find furniture in the dark.

In order to get a loan you must first prove you don’t need it.